The Record: Homeland
There is a child at the same orphanage as my son. I photograph him and other babies to send pictures to the states.
We get home from overseas, and six months later I find out that that little baby was adopted by someone close by. I connect with his mother, and I bring more pictures.
The mother and I support each other for a time. It’s no one’s fault when we end up heading in different directions, busy with life.
Eventually, we reconnect, and I visit her house. I bring my son, who is now 15.
Her child has become violent, and, like his father, he hits her.
I don’t really know what to say. I hear her son in the other room with mine. Suddenly, the world seems tilted. Dangerous.
We get ready to go home. On my way out of the bathroom I find the doorknob locked. Then it turns, and I realize it’s the child, who’s no longer a baby, holding the door shut so that I can’t get out.
My son doesn’t know what to do. The funny thing is, though, that I do. I sit down on the edge of the bathtub and wait quietly for the kid to go away.
Eventually, he does.
When we finally get into the car, I start to cry. The truth is that when I was in that bathroom, I was filled with fear. I was vulnerable to attack, and I knew it.
And nobody did anything to help me.
I imagine my friend’s life, what it must be like.
I lecture my son about how when he sees someone in trouble, he needs to intervene.
It’s not his fault. He’s still young, still learning. We all are.
But I can’t help but cry nearly the whole way home.
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Dear Readers,
I am no perfect mother, not by a long shot. I’ve talked to my son about what happened that day and the fact that it was not his fault. It was a very emotional and frightening moment for me, and maybe I let some of that through to him even though he was only 15. (He turns 20 this week!) I daresay he’s forgiven me, and I have definitely let it be known to him that I shouldn’t have come down hard on him. Now, I’m happy that this experience was long ago. We share a trust that many people don’t. I am one lucky mom.
Jen