The Record: It's just nerves

I’m starting to feel a little tense.

I’m in a giant funnel being squeezed closer and closer to a miserable destiny of chemo and fevers and neurological side effects.

And that’s if I get the good treatment.

If I get the good enough treatment, I will be sick for many months. My immune system will be completely fried. I will need to isolate.

I keep thinking I might write a book during that time. Maybe it will get me through.

But the truth is that I’m facing down May like it’s the end of my life, because it really sort of feels that way. It’s the end of my young life. The end of innocence as I tote my Depends adult diapers into the hospital just in case.

A little tense.